Empress of the World

1. Costume Designer — hurray! Katrina would be proud.
15. Computer Trainer — Another one I’ve done. And still do.
16. Animator — See above re: if I could draw.
17. Pet Groomer — Only Snag.
18. Multimedia Developer — “Developer”? Is that where I tell the people who actually can animate what to do?
19. Personal Trainer — “Do as I say, not as I do.”
20. Social Worker — See above re: psychologist.
21. Plasterer — Um.
22. Addictions Counselor — Sweet! Just like Waylon to Bubbles! (Sorry, obligatory Wire reference.)
23. Makeup Artist — If I wore any.
24. Magician — I’d make myself disappear.
25. Foreign Service Officer — If I knew more languages.
26. Professor — Considered this one seriously, too. Library school didn’t take as long.
27. School Counselor — If I could pick the students.
28. Comedian — No.
29. Casting Director — Yes.
30. Activist — Intermittently. Mostly via writing.
31. Graphic Designer — I think I’d love this, actually. With a bunch of training. And probably a new glasses prescription. Except, do you have to know how to draw?
32. Artist — See above re: cartoonist.
33. Print Journalist — I prefer fiction. Then again, so do some print journalists.
34. Critic — I am supremely unable to be objective.
35. ESL Teacher — See above re: Foreign Service Officer.
36. Foreign Language Instructor — And again!
37. Communications Specialist — I don’t even know what this means. PR?
38. Writer — Finally!
39. Musician — If there were more call for rusty violinists and untutored altos.
40. Computer Animator — Why does this test persist in thinking I can draw?